It occurs to me that two people preparing to enter into a committed relationship (marriage) need to have an open and frank discussion about what they are willing to sacrifice for the benefit of said marriage. A couple must mutually agree, with no reservations, what the most important thing in their lives will be. And, if that "thing" is not the marriage, then they'd probably not enter into it.
There is no other time in their lives that the couple will stand before God, their friends and family and vow to love and honor "until death you do part." So, this must be the most important commitment they'll ever make. If not, why stand before God and make such declarations? And if it is, they must agree that every other aspect of their lives can and will be sacrificed if it's necessary for the survival of the marriage.
No one and nothing is more important than the marriage. Not the husband, not the wife. Children of course, the products of a committed relationship, are part of the marriage/family, and revered as such. But if parents/in-laws are a problem they need to be left behind. If adult children are a problem, the same. Occupations are expendable, houses and neighborhoods disposable, lifestyles deemed unnecessary, friends forgotten, egos rendered flaccid. Everything can be sacrificed for the benefit of the marriage. Minor children from a previous marriage will be the greatest obstacle. I don't see many parents agreeing to sacrifice them for the benefit of a new marriage. Not sure how to handle that. Maybe just wait until they grow up.
Of course there are always three outs: adultery, substance abuse, and physical/emotional abuse. Other than that, the marriage must always come first, no matter what sacrifices need be made. Even adultery can be forgiven in some cases, and I'd hope a loving spouse would try to help their partner through a drug problem before throwing in the towel. Physical abuse probably won't be overcome, psychologists not withstanding.
I think gays and lesbians recognize these problems going in. And probably mixed race and mixed religion couples. But "normal" couples usually enter into their relationships blind, giving no thought as to how they'll react when inevitable problems come to light.
I believe that the ultimate benefit of sacrificing all in an effort to sustain the marriage "until death do us part" is God's greatest reward.
There is no other time in their lives that the couple will stand before God, their friends and family and vow to love and honor "until death you do part." So, this must be the most important commitment they'll ever make. If not, why stand before God and make such declarations? And if it is, they must agree that every other aspect of their lives can and will be sacrificed if it's necessary for the survival of the marriage.
No one and nothing is more important than the marriage. Not the husband, not the wife. Children of course, the products of a committed relationship, are part of the marriage/family, and revered as such. But if parents/in-laws are a problem they need to be left behind. If adult children are a problem, the same. Occupations are expendable, houses and neighborhoods disposable, lifestyles deemed unnecessary, friends forgotten, egos rendered flaccid. Everything can be sacrificed for the benefit of the marriage. Minor children from a previous marriage will be the greatest obstacle. I don't see many parents agreeing to sacrifice them for the benefit of a new marriage. Not sure how to handle that. Maybe just wait until they grow up.
Of course there are always three outs: adultery, substance abuse, and physical/emotional abuse. Other than that, the marriage must always come first, no matter what sacrifices need be made. Even adultery can be forgiven in some cases, and I'd hope a loving spouse would try to help their partner through a drug problem before throwing in the towel. Physical abuse probably won't be overcome, psychologists not withstanding.
I think gays and lesbians recognize these problems going in. And probably mixed race and mixed religion couples. But "normal" couples usually enter into their relationships blind, giving no thought as to how they'll react when inevitable problems come to light.
I believe that the ultimate benefit of sacrificing all in an effort to sustain the marriage "until death do us part" is God's greatest reward.
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